


Deepest Secret

by lilolilyrae



Series: Just You And Me - Until The End. [13]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Good Quynh | Noriko, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29445375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Andromache finally decides to tell Quynh the last of her secrets.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko
Series: Just You And Me - Until The End. [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1980067
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29





	Deepest Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Valentine's day, 2018.
> 
> Not a direct follow up to the series, but you should have at least read [In Your Stead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26795770/chapters/65369455) to understand what they are talking about.

Andromache wakes when something small and hard hits her forehead.

"Ouch!"

She sits up in an instant, arming herself with a pillow- the cackling coming from the doorway tells her that this is nothing worth an intruder alert, but in fact her wife who started the fight. 

Another projectile is thrown, and Andy repels it with the pillow. "What _are_ you- hey, is that chocolate?"

"Yup," Quỳnh nods, flopping down on the bed next to her and throwing the net of chocolates between them. "I think Nile is going through something, she bought out half a store and is now sitting in front of the telly, crying about _Gilmore Girls_."

Andy looks at the chocolate- little heart shapes- and groans. "Yeah, she would be- it's valentine's day, the holiday of chocolate consumerism and tears, and she hasn't got a date."

Quỳnh blinks. "Why would she be worries about a date on this holiday of 'chocolate, tears and consumerism'? Valentine's, _valentine's._.. wasn't there a holiday like this back in-"

"Yes, except now it really is just about consumerism and tears," Andy grumbles. "And pink kitsch everywhere. It’s unbearable.”

Quỳnh raises an eyebrow, unwrapping a pink piece of candy and popping it into her mouth. “The shhocolate’s not unbearable.”

Andromache groans in exaggeration and leans back against her pillows.

“Capitalism turned it into a day of having to buy all the most expensive sweets and roses and going to the most expensive restaurants and being grievously disappointed in your partner if they don’t do it, but also never ever actually talking about it, instead pretending like the other will read your thoughts and just know what you want to do, and if not, then your entire relationship is a failure.”

Quỳnh stares. “That sounds- incredibly silly. We have known each other for millennia, and we don’t always know what the other thinks, we just talk! It’s way more important that we don’t keep any secrets from each other.”

Andromache freezes. She could cover up her reaction, only reply agreeing with Quỳnh that no-one can read anyone’s mind, and leave the topic of secrets alone for now, but- she doesn't want to, not this time.

She didn't want to tell Quỳnh about the way she had lost her immortality when Quỳnh had returned from the sea-

First, because Andy had thought that she really would die and didn't want her to live with the guilt of possibly being the reason for it, then because Quỳnh had still been so fragile...

but it had been over a year now, and Quỳnh was right, there should be no secrets between them. Secrets weren't _natural_ between them.

“Andromache?” Quỳnh raises an eyebrow, putting the chocolates away and scooting closer to her. “What is it?”

“I- there is something I haven’t told you yet. A secret, if you so will.”

Quỳnh tilts her head. “A secret? You don’t seem like someone who wants to keep it secret right now, or if so you’re do you’re not doing a good job at it,” she tries to lighten the mood.

Andromache just shakes her head. “I don’t want to keep it from you, I never did, I just didn’t want to hurt you, and then…” she sighs, looking down. “This is difficult.”

Quỳnh gently strokes over her cheek, making her look up.

“You know you can tell me everything, Andromache?”

“I do know that,” Andy tells her, honestly so, “but I really couldn’t have told you about this when I thought- fuck. Let me start over.”

Squishing her eyes shut so as not to have to see Quỳnh’s so very concerned and understanding eyes, Andy starts to explain.

“When I was mortal- that didn’t happen all at once.”

Next to her, Quỳnh freezes. “What do you mean? Andromache, it isn’t- it isn’t happening again?”

“What? No, no! No, nothing like this, don’t worry.” Andy takes Quỳnh’s hand in hers and presses a kiss to her palm. “Everything is alright now, don’t worry.”

Quỳnh has to take a deep breath before she relaxes against her again, pressing a kiss to her temple. The shock of Andy’s mortality is still sitting deep in her bones, and the thought that it might have come back…

“When I was turning mortal,” Andy starts over, “At first, injuries just took longer to heal, and I had to sleep more… then I started to bleed for no reason, and it took longer for me to come back when I was killed… it got worse every time.”

“Every time? Every time you were killed, you mean?”

“No.” Andromache takes a deep breath, steeling herself against the inevitable truth. “Every time we switched bodies.”

Quỳnh stares at her, completely silent, frozen at her side.

After a moment, Andromache decides to keep talking. “It was always right after we switched back… Do you remember the beach, once, pretty early on? I stubbed my toe on a pebble or something, and it just kept bleeding… at the time, I thought I must’ve cut it off entirely and didn’t notice until it grew back for there to be so much blood…”

Quỳnh gasps for air when she remembers the scene, staring at the ocean all disoriented- and to think that Andromache was turning mortal already, even then? All because-

“So it was my fault,” she gasps, “my fault-“

Andy shakes her head, quickly turning around to face her. “It’s not your fault, it’s not like either of us was controlling it- and even if, you had no idea! Quỳnh,” she holds onto her chin, makes her meet her eyes. “It’s not your fault, okay? I never thought it was, I only didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel guilty, because it's not like it _was_ your fault, and even if, I wanted you to keep living, be happy-“

Tears are burning in her eyes now, when she thinks of Quỳnh, alone after her death, and how she would have carried that burden if she had told her the truth-

“Oh _Andromache!”_ Quỳnh’s voice pulls her away from her dark thoughts, and she sobs and pulls her close, feels the need to have her close again the way she did at first after she had gotten her back.

“Andromache, Andromache, _Andromache_ \- oh, my love, what you have been through, and all alone-“

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I wanted to but I needed you to live on after my death, and then when I got my immortality back I didn’t know what to say-“

“My Anh,” Quỳnh whispers into her hair, “I am not sure I could ever really be over your death, if it ever came down to it. But I would try- for you. And- thank you. For keeping me in the dark, then. For trying to make it easier for me.”

Both of their eyes are wet when they pull back from their embrace, and for a long moment, they lean their foreheads together and just breathe.

“I love you, Andromache,” Quỳnh tells her, silent yet clear. “And I don’t blame you for keeping the secret. I just hope that we will have many more years together, and that if one of us does turn mortal again, the other is close to follow.”

“Don’t say that,” Andy whispers. “Don’t-” the thought of Quỳnh, mortal, vulnerable, _dead_ , is almost too much for her.

“And if it was me, who went first?” Quỳnh asks her, pulling back just enough to better look at her. “Would you then want to stay behind?”

Andromache shudders, unable to openly agree. “But you won’t, you’re younger, you’re-”

“That didn’t help Lykon.” Quỳnh reminds her, gently so. “Now come, Andromache- let us not speak of death anymore. We are both more than alive just now.”

Andy nods. “And no more secrets.”

“No more secrets.” Quỳnh easily agrees, and then she pulls her in for a kiss. “Now what do you say we spend this valentine’s day doing what it really is about?” she pushes Andy onto her back and straddles her legs, but Andy clasps her hand over her mouth before she can kiss her senseless.

“You were saying something about Nile being sad earlier?”

Quỳnh groans. “Do we really have to take care of the kid now?”

Andy sighs. “She’s family. And I don’t want to repeat the mistakes I made with Booker with her.”

Quỳnh gives her a soft look. “Ever the responsible…”

“Only with you to remind me to be, Quỳnh. Only with you around.”

**Author's Note:**

> title from the e.e. cummings poem [I Carry Your Heart With Me](https://bookysh.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/cummings_large.jpg).
> 
> If you liked it, do please consider making me happy by leaving a comment, even if it's just a short one!


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